The knob of a W205 has been coloured by Percy Pig :)

[DolSquirrel]

I get a sense of satisfaction as I had eagerly awaited for a duration of two and three-fourths years to use that clever play on words. 🤪

While waiting patiently at a traffic signal in the "Percy" Van, a reckless individual driving a chavvy 205 automobile thoughtlessly overtakes the ten cars behind me by using the designated turn right lane. However, he was unaware of the unexpectedly rapid acceleration of the unburdened Percy as it swiftly moved away from traffic lights. Percy quickly moved away as the w205 vehicle came dangerously close to colliding with the traffic lights.

I beforehand activated my prominent crimson switch to provide amusement to the surveillance system of the corporations' dashboard camera, like to a watchful elder sibling.

If the individual who own the silver w205 vehicle with questionable window tinting in Bexleyheath is here on this platform today, I express no sympathy or concern for your predicament. 😁

Percy, who achieved success, emerged as the winner.

[DolSquirrel]

Commence the jokes centred on pork.

[AmericaMonster]

Are you once again talking lies, Brett? 😀

[AmericaMonster]

Will you be uploading the dash cam video on Instagram?

[DolSquirrel]

That was a really clumsy and inept effort at a pun 😁

[AmericaMonster]

I quickly get bored.

[DolSquirrel]

Regrettably, I am unable to have access to the tape until I receive a disciplinary action.

[Istairde]

So, what accomplishments have you achieved?

[Dudeta]

It is neither Percy pig nor intelligent.

[Boxck]

Upon observing your waggon, it is evident that you were one of the most skilled drivers in the realm of berry transportation.

[DolSquirrel]

Today, one of our drivers collided with a barrier and managed to jam the barrier between the wheel arch, wheel, and axle of the van. This caused the vehicle to become fully immobilised, even before leaving the depot. It was an unfortunate incident.

[AmericaMonster]

I once knew someone who managed to manoeuvre a long-wheelbase Sprinter van into a narrow space with a height limit of 6 feet 6 inches behind Mitcham Common. He was constantly reminded of it.

[DolSquirrel]

Feline. I do not reduce my speed for those that are 6 feet 6 inches tall and are working in Sprinter vans.

(Despite being in my own van .......)

[AmericaMonster]

Admittedly, he had overlooked the fact that the Sprinter in issue had a fragile glazing affixed to one side.

[WannaVulture]

In 1970, at the age of 18, I was given the responsibility of operating a fork/clamp truck by W.D.&H.O.Wills. This substantial apparatus was used to secure a stack of three 500 kilogramme cardboard boxes containing waste tobacco. My task was to move these boxes from the warehouse to the Customs and Excise bonded area. There, a Customs observer would choose random samples of tobacco to verify the contents. Currently, the plant is making daily payments over £1,000,000. Regarding taxation, there were significant amounts that might be reclaimed from the disposal of unused tobacco or waste materials. One day, I securely fastened three cartons of tobacco, erected the mast, and began to navigate towards the Customs "bonded" area. After a few yards, the boxes began to slide out from between the clamps. I increased the force applied to the boxes using the hydraulic clamps, and elevated the pole somewhat. Without any delay, I proceeded through the threshold into the bonded warehouse. The double doors were to be locked throughout the night or while the Customs and Excise personnel were not present on the premises. I can confirm that a Lansing Bagnall forklift truck, driving at a speed of 15 mph, with the mast in an elevated position, has the capability to not only remove an entire door frame but also displace several rows of bricks located above it.

Due to my activities, a Customs "watcher" had to be paid to stay on the premises overnight until repairs were completed. As a consequence, I had some trouble with the plant manager. Upon arriving home, I found myself unable to evade the humiliation of my "accident". To my dismay, the person responsible for inspecting the condition of the fork truck happened to be my father, who also serves as the service manager for Lansing Bagnall.

[AmericaMonster]

The most remarkable fork truck event I had saw took place in the cargo facilities at Gatwick. While waiting for a pick up, I saw one of the handlers swiftly and dangerously unloading a truck. After securely removing 2 pallets, he quickly proceeded up to the next one. However, he miscalculated the distance and accidentally impaled the shrink wrapped pallet of boxes with his forks. The truck emitted a peculiar sound like a cascade of metal and the driver expressed their dismay with an exclamation mark, as almost 6 billion ball bearings fell off the pallet into the concrete apron.

[depofly]

It is rather frequent to see waggons stuck beneath a bridge with a clearly indicated height limit of 10 feet and 6 inches on a back road that I sometimes use. One method provides enough advance notice, while the other method catches you off guard as you navigate a curve without visibility. If the waggons see it in advance, there are no convenient places to turn around, resulting in the need to reverse around 90-degree turns often. I suppose that satellite navigation systems are responsible for displaying this route as the most expeditious path to the motorway.

[Captiva]

That amused me 😆

A similar incident occurred at a workplace where I was employed in the early 1980s.

One of the maintenance fitters, Bob, nicknamed "Bionic Bob" due to his remarkable ability to emerge unharmed from the chaos he caused, successfully manoeuvred a forklift with the mast raised through the narrow passage connecting the production area and warehouse. This resulted in significant damage to the doors, door frame, the beam above it, and some brickwork above that. An additional fortunate aspect was that a portion of the wreckage that descended nearly avoided the Managing Director who was doing his morning inspection in the warehouse.

[Dudeta]

Years ago, I saw a Renault Master become trapped below the top deck of the auto ferry on the Isle of Wight, resulting in the back doors being torn open. Due to time constraints, I was unable to see the final result as I departed, as they were deflating the tyres.